Love for Lilly

She's in love....

2011-10-06T09:22:00.001-07:00

It's no big secret that Lilly loves animals. All animals. Dogs, cats, even pigs. But she loves horses. Loves them. So today I surprised her with a riding lesson. I found out about a little farm tucked away in our community, and the owner gives lessons. How fun! Right down my girls alley!

Miss Lisa taught her how to brush the horse and put on the saddle.

Then she got to ride and showed her how to guide the horse. They even did some tricks.

The horse was so sweet. His name was Moonshine and he had pink shoes.

Link had fun watching. He wasn't sure about the horses. Or the dogs.

But Lilly sure had fun. She did not want to leave. I am sure we will be back. She is already asking about next time.

First day, first grade.

2011-09-06T09:17:00.001-07:00

We are still jet lagged, and tired, but started school this morning anyway. I'm new to the homeschooling thing, but have been so blessed ton have so many great friends that homeschool to help me out. I'm so excited to have Lilly out of the classroom! I'm very lucky that she loves to learn, and we had a great first day. We learned about the angel Gabriel, did phonics, language arts, math, sight words, and more bible study. This afternoon we have some more things planned. It was so much fun! Link even had fun coloring while we worked. Day one so far so good.
Thank you all who followed us on Lincoln's blog to china. We were so blessed by your sweet words and comments.

Staking my claim.....

2011-02-06T10:56:00.000-08:00

I know I have been absent. I have thought of writing this post 100 times, and yet I haven't. Until today. Today is the day that I am claiming it.

Over the past year and half, I have felt like a snowball rolling down hill. Picking up crud along the way. I've been rolling FAST, too fast. I haven't been able to enjoy the ride very much for worrying about getting THERE.

You see since we have adopted Lilly, I have been playing catch up. Catch up on attachment, catch up on socialization, catch up on education, catch up in language development, catch up on speech, catch up on cleft surgeries, catch up on immunizations, catch up on bonding. CATCH UP, quick, we have to CATCH UP. Are you overwhelmed yet? Because I am.

I haven't posted much about Lilly's last surgery. The bone graft. Third surgery in a year. Just about everything that could have went wrong did. Even requiring a second surgery (which is the 4th surgery) in a year to fix a freak occurrence from the 3rd surgery. Its A LOT.

Then there is school. She does okay.....but we aren't caught up. We are working on that. Attachment. Its always been difficult. Just when I think I have it all figured out, some new things come rearing their ugly heads. And speech. She has made so much progress, but still lacks in areas.

On top of all the catch up I have been dealing with.....the death of my precious grandmother (who died unexpectedly on the day Lilly had the 3rd surgery), my oldest going to college, my middle going to high school, another adoption, etc. I could go on but I think you get the point. Not fun stuff.

Through all this, it finally occurred to me. LET IT GO. I don't HAVE to play catch up anymore. EVERYTHING is not important right now. Right now, I need to love this girl where she is and stop trying to change her to fit the mold that I think she should fit. There is no way that I can catch up for 5 years of lost time over night. Why did I not realize that before? I only have to do what I HAVE to do. The rest will come in time.

"Time opens every door."

I'm staking my claim. I will not worry anymore about getting this child ahead. I will love her where she is planted, and watch her bloom. I will love her the same if she NEVER gets caught up. I want to enjoy more and worry less. It feels good actually, like I just shed a very heavy coat. I will prioritize and we will have small nibbles at life, in manageable pieces, not trying to eat the whole pie at one time.

I just have to love her where she is. Thats all. Its that simple.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-13

Lillys Adoption video

2010-12-26T11:11:00.000-08:00

Lillys adoption video is finally complete! Please watch it!

Lilly's Adoption Story from Jim Reece on Vimeo.

A single step

2010-12-21T07:04:00.000-08:00

I have a bracelet. It speaks to my heart. Its not valuable really, to anyone but me. My Mom bought it for me during the wait for Lilly. Inscribed on the bracelet it says: The journey to a thousand miles begins with a single step. I have worn it over the years and clung to the words written on it.

A. Single. Step.

One single step. Where would I have been if I had not taken that one single step. What if I listened to the naysayers. What if I had never pursued adoption? What if I would have given up on Lilly's adoption because of the wait. What if I had never trusted God?

Look what I would have missed!

And this.....

Let go. Walk in faith. Take the first step. You don't have to see the whole picture before stepping out. You only have to trust that it is there.

They called us crazy. They still do. Heck, sometimes I think we are too. It doesn't matter what they say. In the end, it all works out to be beautiful.

Merry Christmas to all my cyber friends! I pray that this next year you take a single step in a journey to find your happiness.

BIG NEWS!

2010-11-06T14:16:00.000-07:00

I interrupt my terrible blogging skills for this very important announcement:

We have recieved Pre approval to adopt Lilly a little brother. Get the full story at:

http://findingourmissinglink.blogspot.com

A new normal...

2010-09-30T07:46:00.000-07:00

As you all know Lilly had her lip and nose revision last week. Of course we loved her face. The one that I studied every detail of since December of 2008. The face that was full of expression. I loved her crooked nose. I. Loved. That. Face.

Our cleft doctor is one of the best on the East coast. Let me say that first. He has a HUGE heart for these cleft kids, and made a commitment to me early on that he would do everything in his power to have her look as "normal" as possible. Which I appreciate....I really do.

BUT....

I can't get used to it. I feel as if I am mourning the loss of my beautiful child's face. I wonder if I did the right thing. Of course, I knew the world wouldn't see the beauty that I did in Lilly's crooked smile. I miss it. Its a new normal, I suppose. Maybe with time I will appreciate it.

That is the way it is with Mom's. We just love our kids, crooked nose and all, and we never want to change their appearance, even if we could. I looked at crooked, and saw perfection.

And I miss it.

Prayers please

2010-09-23T04:58:00.001-07:00

I pray that all of my blogger friends will say a prayer for us today. Lilly is having her lip and nose revision, and possible bone graft. Its hard on a Momma heart for her baby to go through so much.Please pray for her doctors, nurses and all the other people who are trying to make things better for her. Pray for her parents too!

Also please pray for my grandmother. She fell last Friday and is bleeding on her brain. She is not responsive.

Two MAJOR things going on this week, so we can really use the prayers.

Updates coming soon! Thank you all!

So I started thinking.....

2010-06-17T14:44:00.000-07:00

Today Lilly and I had quite the excursion! We were so tired of hanging around the house for the last few days, so we decide to go explore and see what we could find to get into. First we went to the butterfly museum. Lilly had so much fun looking at the animals and insects...well except the snakes, we were both a bit freaked out by those. Then we had lunch and decided to stop by a thrift store. Lilly is desperately looking for a Powerpuff Girl movie, which we have yet to find. Anyway, at the store there was a shelf of junkie toys that Lilly just HAD to check out. We were standing there, and I was as close to her as I could possibly be, doing NOTHING wrong, when a store employee came up to Lilly and said, in a mean way, " Where is your Mommy, you can not be here alone." Of course as soon as she said it Lilly looked up at me with the What did I do wrong look. Of course I told her I AM her Mommy, in my Momma bear voice. To which she said, " Oh well you don't look like her." I was so shocked, that I did not even have a come back (which if you know me, really IS a shock).

Which got me thinking....

I suppose everyone who looks at us together immediately thinks about our differences, and makes an assumption. I guess I was so shocked because I don't think about it. I look into my daughters face and see nothing more or less but my daughter. Thats all. The face of my child. I don't see Asian. I don't see adoption. I don't see different.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. The employee did not think for a second that she was my daughter! Next time we go back, I WILL be wearing this shirt:

And Lilly will be sporting this one:

After that drama, we went to play at Fiesta Plaza, which was super fun! Then we had ice cream! While at Fiesta Plaza I was talking to this grandmother who had brought her grandchildren to play. She was nice enough, but then she asked "the question". You know the one, Why China? Why not adopt American kids. At this point I was beginning to feel like a carnival freak show. So I said, "well we just thank God that he pointed us to the child that we were meant to have and it has been absolutely perfect. We are so lucky to have her." Thankfully that shut her up. So the next time we go to Fiesta Plaza, I will be wearing a shirt that says this:And Lilly's will say this:

All in all we had a fabulous day, and I refuse to let anyone's ignorance get to me. Although had I had my shirt on and Lilly had her shirt on, and those people had this shirt on, a lot could have been avoided.
Ahhh! I think we will just enjoy a quiet day at home tomorrow.

A year of emotions

2010-05-18T07:31:00.000-07:00

Finding words to sufficiently sum up the past year of our lives is nearly impossible. There has been every emotion known to man displayed. There were so many things I did not know, or think about a year ago. My heart and mind have grown right along with Lilly.

Initially there were big problems. The kind that are more than a little overwhelming. Luckily our Social Worker had warned us about these things, and we were as prepared as you possibly could be. I had read the books, but experiencing it yourself is a bit different. Lilly did not trust us....at all. She did not trust us to love her, feed her, cloth her, keep her safe, or any other thing that most 5 year old children take for granted. SO she controlled everything. She needed to be in control to keep herself safe, as she had done in China for 5 years of her life. No one really loved her there, so she made sure her needs were met herself. She had huge tantrums, not just kiddie tantrums, big ones, where she tried to hurt us and herself. Can you imagine being so scared at 5 years old that you feel you have to "fight" for yourself? I am sure in those moments if you would have asked her if she wanted to go back to China she may have very well said YES! How do you explain to this child that we love her more than anything and we WILL take care of her? You don't. Love is an action....we had to prove it. And slowly over time, she began to trust, and let her control go, and we saw a sweet beautiful daughter emerge from this frighted, terrified girl....and she started blooming, right before our eyes.

THAT is a beautiful thing.

As Lilly bloomed, and we came to understand more about her, attachment and bonding, things got much easier. Everyday she made progress. Everyday things became easier, everyday we worked hard and succeed. Little bitty baby steps. Was it hard? YES! Was it worth it? A million times YES! Would I do it again? In a second!

Our social worker did warn us about the risks, and the troubles we may have. BUT, there are many things our social worker did not tell us about. She did not tell us how every morning we would be so excited just to see her face, and know she is ours. She did not tell us that there will be days of abundant joy that make up for the bad days ten fold. She did not tell us that we would be on our knees thanking God for picking us to be her parents. She did not tell us that we would be the lucky ones.

I am glad she didn't because I would have never believed her.

The moment I laid eyes on Lilly I knew I could not love her anymore had she come to be mine through any different avenue. She was mine, just as my other two were. I love her no less or no more, and never will. She filled a hole in my heart, that I never really knew I had, and I think we filled one in her heart too. I know we were meant to be together, and that just about sums it up.

Forever Family.

365 days

2010-05-11T06:05:00.000-07:00

May 11th, 2009, 8,000 miles away from home, 3:00 am, I toss and turn. Today is the day. We are told to be ready to go at 9:30 am, but at 4, I give into my restlessness and arise. So many emotions swirl that I could not possibly sleep. The day we have waited for over 3 years is finally here, who could sleep? I am sure I paced the floor so many times before we left that I must have worn the carpet. I changed my clothes 3 times.

The ride to the Civil Affairs office was long. I stared out the window watching more people than you could ever imagine on a street in America, go about their daily business. I remember it like yesterday. I have NEVER been more nervous in my life, scared to death of a 5 year old girl. Will she like us? Will she cry? Will she try to run away? Will she recognize us? Every scenario good and bad I played out in my head a 100 times that day.

When we finally made it to the office, it was very hot and small. There were some babies already there, with caregivers, some sleeping some crying, all unrealizing their lives were about to change. There were some parents there too, most of them were Spanish speaking. One by one the babies started being ushered in and handed out, but our Lilly was no where to be seen.

I paced and paced and finally her orphanage director called and said they were running late. I tried to relax and focus on the new families being formed and the beautiful little children. It was a madhouse though, hardly what I had imagined it to be. Surreal.

When I least expected it, she walked in. Expressionless, she looked at us, and studied our features as we did hers. You could tell she was scared, but she did not cry. We were allowed to ask the director some questions about her. She told me that Lilly had thrown up on the way to the office that morning. Ah, she was just as scared as me. She told me how smart Lilly was and how she made her bed nicely everyday. Besides that she had little to say, and did not tell me anything too personal about my child. I can't help but think she did not know about her. in no time we were done. I wish I had some fairy tell story but I do not. That quickly in that loud chaotic room were handed our child. Strangers were now a family.

We left and on the ride back to the hotel there had to be a million things Lilly was thinking. One single tear ran down her cheek as we left all she had ever known behind. That one tear symbolized so much. In that moment I questioned what we were doing to this sweet child and if it was right. That tear broke my heart. She was so brave, she was going through more than any 5 year old ever should have to.

Later that night, and for many months after she cried and grieved for all that was familiar. There is pain in adoption. For us that day was all we had dreamed of, but for our sweet girl, it was a living nightmare. I can not imagine. She has told us since then that she was "very, very scary Momma and Baba, in China, but now I love you."

We celebrate this day as a mark in time, 365 days since we united together, but I feel guilty about it in a way. It was such a traumatic time for her that I hate remembering the pain she felt.

Thank you God for the past 365 days of blessings you have bestowed on us.

For those who have been around for a year now, here is a before and after shot. We put the "China clothes" on (that she REFUSED to change in China) for old times sake. This time 365 days later she was mad that I made her put them on. Sorry I couldn't find an oreo. : )

I will be back soon with my reflections from this year.

Lilly-isms

2010-05-07T11:37:00.000-07:00

I thought to mark the one year anniversary of the day we left for China, I would let you in on some insider, one-of -a -kind things about Lilly we have learned in the past year.

1) She loves music...all kinds really, especially Taylor Swift.

2) She loves art, all art, and will use anything as paper, including the wall.

3) Her nickname is 'Little Little", don't ask me why, I do not know, blame it on Baba.

4) She likes to play games, and loves to win. Warning she has been known to cheat.

5) She wants to let her hair grow to her ankles.

6) She would eat at McDonalds everyday, if I would let her.

7) Lilly is the perfect amount of part stubborn, part sweet, mixed with humor.

8) She desperately wants a sister her age, or so she thinks.

9) She has a magnetism that is undeniable.

10) She is as close to perfect as they come, or at least we think so.

Baba's Shadow

2010-04-27T13:23:00.000-07:00

About this time last year we were preparing to leave for China to get our sweet girl. So many questions lingered in my mind...there were no answers to find...just questions, on how everything would work out. Often I would talk out loud to my husband saying these things. You know how you will just ask a "what if" question, not really wanting an answer, just someone to ease your mind a bit and tell you all will be fine? One of those. I had said, "What if she doesn't like us?" and I remember Matthews answer, "I know she will like me." "What? How do you know?" " I just know." Hummm, I thought, we will see.

I be darned. He was right. I rarely admit it, but he was right. This child does not LIKE Baba, she LOVES Baba. I mean really, really loves him. I have never seen a kid this crazy about their Dad. It amazes me. She will do anything for Baba, but will fight Mama all day LONG! Its okay though. I am really glad that she loves him so much, and honestly it was instantly, from day one, just as he had predicted. Remember this picture I posted in China? See?

As I type Lilly is on the couch napping with him now. I beg, plead, and bribe her to take a nap. Does she? No. Baba says he feels like napping she curls up with him and sleeps like an angel. Its amazing, and equally baffling. I thought I would win her over eventually, and I have...a little.

If Baba says to do it, she does it. If Baba is doing something, she wants to help. The first words out of her mouth in the morning are, "where is Baba?" So I thought it was only fitting to dedicate a post to Daddy, who is Lilly's very favorite person.

I feel extremely blessed to be married to this wonderful Man. He has been a great provider, supporter, and friend. Wonderful father, and a faithful leader. And now he has a shadow. I think it is precious!

2010-04-20T06:43:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILLY YIN!

Lilly has been so excited that her birthday was coming that we have been counting down for months now! Today is finally the day! We actually had her a party on Sunday and she LOVED all of her gifts and was so happy that everyone came. Sunday night she told me " today was the bestest day ever Mommy, I am so happy that I had a party. It hard to believe at 6 years old this was the FIRST party she had ever had,and the FIRST birthday presents she had ever had. Needless to say we all made up for the lost time because this kid really racked up! She is already anticipating her next birthday....don't rush it Lilly....Mommy is not quite ready for you to grow up so fast! We got her a Barbie Jeep which she LOVES, and I keep thinking in 10 short years she can drive her own Jeep! I see that coming way too quickly!

Of course, I can't let this day go by with out thinking of "China Mommy". I wonder what she is thinking of today 8,000 miles away. Does she feel sadness? Oh I wish there was someway for me to tell her how happy her little girl is. How much love we have for her. How blessed we feel, and mostly how thankful we are that she chose life for her precious child, and how that decision has made all the difference for us.

Happy birthday sweet Lilly Yin, there are many, many more to come!

Deliquent Blogger = ME!

2010-04-09T13:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, I admit it! I have been terribly slack about posting. I really have been busy. I will add some thoughtful words later, but for now, just pictures, which is what you all REALLY want to see anyway, right? I mean who could resist seeing more pictures of this precious child?

Two Mommies

2010-03-18T16:00:00.000-07:00

I remember pretty much everything about being pregnant, and I feel very blessed to experience it twice. I remember the morning sickness, being tired, and the food cravings. I remember feeling tired, my back aching, and swelling feet, but what I remember the most was the hopes and dreams I had for my unborn child. I imagined what they would look like, what they would smell like, and even how they would sound. I wondered what they would be when they grew up, and dreamed of their future. I waited with anticipation to see the face that I had dreamed of seeing for 9 months. When they were born I sat for hours holding them and taking note of each of their physical features. I held their tiny hands and thought about their future. I prayed I would be the mother they needed me to be. I remember it all like yesterday.

As I recall all these things, I can't help but think about Lilly.

I did not know in a physical way what it was like to carry her inside my body. I did not get to survey her physical characteristic's upon birth. But across this great big Earth 8,000 miles away, there is a woman that does remember. I can only imagine she felt the same things when she was pregnant with Lilly as I felt with my two pregnancies. I am sure she rubbed her belly with anticipation to see the face of this child she was carrying. I am sure she wondered what she would look like, what she would smell like and how she would sound. I can't imagine how she felt the day she was born. Did she look at this daughter and realize that she had to make a choice? Did she search for another way? Did her heartbreak? I can't imagine it any other way. I am sure she studied her features and took note of each of them, knowing all too well that their time was limited. I can imagine that she held her tight to her chest, and tried to remember everything about her.

That is the heart of a mother.

I can't imagine how her heart must have broken when she realized that she was unable to keep this child that she loved. What was running through her mind on the day that she left her? She carefully wrote a note and tucked into this beautiful babies shirt, and waited for the perfect moment to walk away, leaving half of her heart behind, on a bench.... alone.

What does she feel now? I am sure she thinks about Lilly. I am sure she prays for her safety. I would think that thoughts swirl in her mind about what she looks like. Is she happy? Is she healthy? I wish there was someway to tell her those answers....but there is not. And Lilly as she gets older, will wonder those same things.

I know there is no way to know if this is exactly the way that Lilly's China Mommy felt that day. I can only imagine, based upon my own experience as a Mom. I pray for her daily. How can thank you be enough? I may not have had the experience of feeling her grow physically inside of me, but I have had the experience of having the thought of her grown in my heart. I waited for her. I longed to see her face. And now that she is here, I study her features for hours. Her toes, her nose, her ears. I look in her beautiful brown eyes. I hold her sweet little hand. I think and dream of her future. I pray that I will be the mother she needs me to be....just as I have done twice before her.

I hope one day I have the opportunity to thank this Mother for making a choice of hope for her daughter. Maybe if not in this life, I pray in Heaven. Most of all I thank God for giving me the opportunity to be a mother THREE times. Three times the blessing, three times the fun, and I thank God he choose me...out of all the Mommies, in all the world, he chose me. Thankfully.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born, I consecrated you…” – Jeremiah 1:5

Two Mommies, one beautiful girl, and Gods plan for a precious child.

Surgery Success!

2010-03-06T13:29:00.000-08:00

We successfully survived the first of many surgeries that Lilly will have due to her cleft lip and palate. I was so nervous, but everything went as planned, and Lilly seems to be doing okay. It was quite traumatic at first, but quickly she is returning to her old self. I tell you if I had just had the same surgery I would not be happy at all....but she is, and actually went outside with Baba for awhile to enjoy the beautiful Carolina weather we are having today.

We feels so blessed that Lilly has an awesome craniofacial doctor in Charlotte! He is considered the "guru" of cleft kids, and is often called "the magician". Lilly also has the most AMAZING speech pathologist, named Susie, which Lilly adores! She also has a great craniofacial orthodontist that we will spend tons of time with for the next 15 years! All those people add up to a wonderful team of people dedicated to making life better for these cleft affected kids, adding to the many blessings that have been bestowed on us! This amazing team works tirelessly to make life easier for these kids. We were also treated like royalty by the fabulous workers at Levine's Children's Center. Who could ask for more?
I want to thank everyone who prayed for Lilly, us and the doctors. So many people stopped by to say hello, or called to see if we needed anything, offered food, brought Lilly gifts, emailed, and most of all prayed, and offered support of any kind. We have the best friends and family, and could not have made it through without all of you. Our extended adoption family via the Internet offered prayers from all around the world! That is a HUGE deal, and thank you seems so small compared to the gratitude in my heart, you will never know just how much you are appreciated!

Adoption and God

2010-02-27T09:58:00.000-08:00

I ran across this post on a fellow bloggers site. I hope the words touch you as strongly as they have me. She said beautifully everything that I feel in my heart.

STORING UP TREASURES LOVE IS AN ACTION

9 months home...Too good to be true.

2010-02-23T05:57:00.001-08:00

WOW! Nine months home. Where has the time gone? Its funny because in one way it seems that Lilly has been here forever, and in another way it seems like just yesterday we were preparing to leave for China. Nine. Short. Months. Everything has changed for this little girl, for the best, but still EVERYTHING has changed. As a preschool teacher for many years, I would notice children who started to show signs that something was different at home. Relatives in town? Mom and Dad fighting? A different schedule? All of these little things can send a child all out of whack. Yet with Lilly it is not one of these small things that have changed for her, its everything, there is not one part of her life that is the same as it was nine months ago. I remember this time last year questioning how all of these changes would work out for her. Was I doing the right thing? In the end, I knew I was, this girl deserved a family to love her forever. Although change hurts, sometimes we have to experience it to move on to better things. My daughter amazes me! Who has that sort of resilience? My girl does.

I can honestly say that I feel we have come full circle in nine months. Attachment and bonding are great. No sensory problems. Behavior is wonderful 99.9% of the time. She is excelling in preschool. She is genuinely happy, mostly all the time. That is the one thing that people keep telling me....she is so happy! Actually I keep reading more and more books to see if I can find something I am missing. It really can not be this good, this fast? But it is, and of course we have all worked hard to get to the point we are at now, although it has not really seemed like work, just more like being open to meeting Lilly where she was emotionally, and taking baby steps together.

If you are reading my blog as a first timer, I will gladly help any way I can if you are considering adopting an older child, or adopting in general. You can contact me through the CONTACT US button on the side of the blog. I really can not put in to words what a blessing this adoption has been for our family, such a wonderful blessing that I want everyone to experience what we have experienced. I didn't have it all figured out before adopting Lilly, I walked in faith, and kept walking. It has been a beautiful journey, to a beautiful little girl!

Happy Nine Months home Lilly Yin, and forever to go!

Snow day!!!

2010-02-04T15:46:00.000-08:00

Lilly was sure excited to wake up and see all the snow on the ground! She was even more excited when we bundled up and went out for some sledding. She says she has never played in the snow before. I explained to her on snow days, we play in the snow, and stay around in warm pajamas all day by the fireplace. She liked that....and now she wants everyday to be a snow day! It is not often that we get snow around here, so I doubt we will get anymore. It was fun while it lasted!

Long time coming...

2010-02-03T06:26:00.000-08:00

Sorry guys...I know it has been awhile. So much has been going on, and nothing at the same time. Lilly is doing sooo well.

God is so good! Life is so good! Just a couple of years ago I was so depressed and down, wondering how all of these dreams to adopt would play out. I knew God was in it, and I knew my daughter was in China, but I also knew referrals were moving at a snails pace. I was in a valley, and I did not see the way out, and there were mountains surrounding me. My job was horrible, Matthew was working ALL the time, two jobs, the house was a mess, we had no money and I felt my life was chaos. I look back at that dark time in my life today, and reflect. God is so wonderful and always on time. Today as I write, my husband only works one job which allows him more time with us. Lilly is here and doing well. I have been able to stay home with her, and spend more time with my other two, I am genuinely happy. The house is still a mess...but most of that mess is caused my one of the greatest blessing I have ever received. Money is still tight, but we are keeping our head above water. I am completely humbled by these miracles. Our life is not perfect, we have challenges, but I feel as if I am on top of the mountain looking out at all the wonderful possibilities that await for each of us. I say all that for this reason. If you are in the valley in your life...keep praying, keep pressing on, never lose hope, and never doubt that God is right there with you. He is always on time. Even when we do not realize it. The path is not always easy, the road is not always straight...but press on. If I would not have I would have missed the opportunity to be a Mommy to this precious girl. I cherish everyday with her, because I know I could have easily missed it. We could have given up our adoption dream, we could have said No. We could have missed her hugs, laughter, joy,and sense of humor. Thank God we didn't. This is a verse that helped me many times when I was waiting, and my life was not at all where I wanted it to be.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I clung to this verse during that time. I knew God had a plan, but it was hard to trust him completely. But now I see I HAD to wait...I had to wait to get her..not just any her, my her, my daughter. When I look into those beautiful brown eyes, I know we could have missed it all.

Christmas photos...

2009-12-27T18:51:00.000-08:00

I can't get my thoughts and words to align tonight for some reason, so I will just upload the pictures. If Lilly looks confused, its because she is....she kept saying "all of it for me?"...

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-24T12:08:00.000-08:00

Surgery

2009-12-16T12:05:00.000-08:00

As soon as we got Lilly, 6 months ago, we noticed she had some really bad breath. We brushed her teeth, and everything but it kept getting worse. I talked with several doctors about it, but no one seemed to have a solution. Well one did advise her to go to the dentist to check for cavities, thinking maybe she had some dental issues. Nope...actually no cavities at all (yea!). So when I took her to the ENT last week to have her hearing checked I mentioned it to him, hoping he had some insight. He looked in her nose and did indeed see something. Actually he thought it maybe a tumor. YIKES! That's enough to really worry Momma. SO he scheduled surgery to get what ever it was out. He was sure this was causing her really bad breath. So we went for surgery on Tuesday and after about 30 minutes he walks out with a HUGE wooden bead in hand. WHAT! A bead? I saw so glad it was not a tumor! That BIG bead was in bedded into her nasal cavity, and it was starting to rot! Thank God we found it. I can't imagine how terrible that felt for her to have that big bead up her nose. The Dr. thinks it may have been there for over a YEAR! What a relief! God answered our prayers in the form of a wooden bead! I asked Lilly later when she put the bead in her nose, and she said "in China." I also asked her why she did it, and she said "to hide it from my friends at the orphanage". She told me thank you for getting it out! I know she can breath much easier now, and her breath is as fresh as a rose! Who would have thought? The above pictures is the bead...of course. The picture doesn't do it justice. I have no idea how she got such a big bead in her little bitty nose! The other one is Lilly playing with her kitchen. For those of you that have been to China, she reminds me of one of the people who work at Lucy's. HAHA!

Attempt at a Gingerbread house....

2009-12-08T15:57:00.000-08:00

So what if it looks a little "off", we had a good time constructing, decorating, and eating the Gingerbread house we made today. I will admit it is pretty bad. Landon came in and told me how great it looked...till I showed him the box and how it was suppose to look..then he laughed. Oh well..

PARADE

2009-12-04T10:26:00.000-08:00

Christmas Cupcakes!

2009-12-01T13:51:00.001-08:00

Lilly went to battle with a green cupcake...she won.

Winter vacation!

2009-11-29T13:03:00.001-08:00

We just returned from Beech Mountain. Lilly loved sledding and the seeing the snow. It was so cold though, and I am recovering from the Swine flu, but I went anyway and suffered through. We had been telling Lilly we were going for a few weeks and I just couldn't disappoint her. She had so much fun as you can tell. Now on to CHRISTMAS!

We are so thankful....

2009-11-26T12:19:00.000-08:00

I can not really find the words to express our gratitude for all the blessing that have been bestowed to us this year. Our God is so amazing. As I type Lilly is beside her self in anticipation for the meal at Nana's house. She is loving the holidays and all the Firsts. Thank you God for an amazing family, a great life, and health to enjoy it all. I am so thankful for my children. Its a beautiful life!

Six months ago..

2009-11-17T06:39:00.000-08:00

Six months ago....I could sleep in when ever I felt like it, although I never wanted too.

Six months ago.....I was not excited to check the Gymboree website.

Six months ago...songs from Noggin were not stuck in my head like glue.

Six months ago...I wasn't putting socks on little feet.

Six months ago....I did not have a fear of stepping on a Barbie in the dark.

Six months ago.....I was not pouring over racks of clothes for the perfect Christmas dress.

Six months ago.....I had no one to read books too.

Six months ago....I had never been to China and witnessed the grace of God first hand.

Six months ago...I was a Mom to two.

Six months ago....I was missing all the joy you have brought into my life.

I am so thankful that I don't have to go back to six months ago....

Happy 6 months home Lilly Yin!

2009-11-13T13:27:00.000-08:00

Dear Lilly,

My heart is full of things I want you to know....about my love for you and God's grace that brought you to us. You were planted in my heart by God, before I even knew who you were, what you looked like, or how it would all work out. I loved you before I knew you and I will always be grateful that we were blessed with the gift of you.

You were not born of my body as your older siblings were, but you were brought into our family with no less desire, joy, or purpose than they were. Adoption was not our second choice, and neither were you. It was only that we discovered the blessing of adoption later in life. We are so glad we did because it led us to you. We simply cannot imagine our lives without you.

As you get older, you may have some questions. I want you to know that it's OK....your dad and I are strong enough to handle them and we expect them. You will wonder about your birth family and why they let you go, and about your birth country and it's people. It's OK. We will love you through the questions and do our best to help you process the grief that accompanies adoption. We will hurt for your hurts and are already praying that God will heal those empty places in your heart where your questions linger.

We continue to be amazed at this incredible gift we have received. I pray we will be the parents you need us to be and you will always know of our love for you. There is nothing you could ever do to change that....nothing. We will never give up on you, leave you or turn our backs on you. You are ours forever

I love you,
Mom

2009-11-11T08:24:00.000-08:00

Six months ago today...I looked into these beautiful eyes for the first time...

What a difference six months makes! We love you Lilly Yin Dockery! Happy half a year home!

Lillys first Halloween!

2009-10-27T17:04:00.000-07:00

Catching up!

2009-10-14T14:38:00.001-07:00

I know its been a long time...I have lost my camera cord AGAIN! I have already ordered two since we have returned from China. I have no idea what the deal is! Anyway, for the updates. We have had some challenges lately, but I happy to say I think we are now headed in the right direction. I am learning so much, and so is Lilly! I am trying to learn how to help her and heal her heart from all of the trauma she has went through in her short life. Oh how I wish I could have been in her life sooner!

Lilly is growing so fast! Its funny to look back at pictures from just two months ago and see how she has changed. I can not say enough about adoption and how wonderful it is. Please, if you have ever considered adoption, I beg you to pray and ask God to guide you to your child. These children want nothing more than a loving family. They deserve it and you will be blessed by them as well. We can not imagine life without Lilly. I would gladly go back to China again tomorrow if I could.....maybe one day!

UPDATE! Finally!

2009-09-04T18:13:00.001-07:00

I know I have been really slack latley! I am just trying to enjoy every moment possible with this precious girl, and my other two sweeties! This summer has been wonderful. We have spent so much time together getting to know each other. Lillys English is really getting good. She understands at least 90% of what you say to her and I can understand her too, which makes things much easier. We have so much to look forward to this year. Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas! What will she think of Christmas? I can't wait! She loves jumping on the trampoline, and cats. Of course she loves her sister, brother and Nana. She also loves her Aunt Lynn and Aunt Kim.

She is just so sweet! What a miraclulous and amzing plan God had for our family! We could not be happier!

2009-07-27T09:02:00.000-07:00

I've been really slack about writing lately. Not much new or exciting has been going on. Lilly is still doing good. Everyday she learns something new. She is such a sweetie and we are so happy to have her. We went to the park one day last week. She liked that of course. She loves to swing. Baba and I are going to have to get her a swing set soon. Hopefully we can do that before Fall.

We also went to visit my dear Grandmother in the nursing home a few weeks ago...isn't she beautiful! Oh I hope I got the gene for her skin! Anyways, Maw Maw loves Lilly and I really wish she could be around her more, and I wish Lilly could understand how much Maw Maw loves her. My grandmother is so sweet. I know she instilled values in me that made me who I am.

This week Lauren and Landon are on a mission trip with the church. I always miss them when they are gone. Lilly does too. She said ME GO!!!! Its gonna be a long week! Much love and hugs to you all!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-15T11:34:00.001-07:00

Two months later....

2009-07-07T07:28:00.001-07:00

1 Corinthians 13:13

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Beach!

2009-07-04T11:49:00.000-07:00

We just got back from our first vacation with Lilly. She loved the beach! So many memories were made this past week! She liked the ocean and the pool of course. She loved riding in the golf cart and playing games. We even took her to ride the "old" rides from the Pavilion. She was so excited to see all these new things! We were so happy to watch her experience all these new things. I will post more pictures later.

Summer Time!

2009-06-15T06:45:00.000-07:00

Hi all! The Dockery's sure are enjoying summer! We have spent everyday in the pool, soaking up the sun! We are so glad that Lilly loves the pool as much as the rest of us do, maybe even a little more! She loves jumping in, and says Eee, Arrr, Sunnn, T-yao....Which is 1, 2, 3 JUMP!

We have also enjoyed Landons baseball games. Lilly loves going and cheering on her big brother. Lauren and Landon both have been so good with Lilly. She adores them! We are starting to look forward to a possible vacation to the beach. I can't imagine what she will think about that! Much love to you all!

One month!

2009-06-12T06:07:00.000-07:00

Its now been one month since we have had our sweet girl. There have been so many trials and challenges, along with rewards and happiness in this past month. So many people have prayed so many prayers for us all, that it humbles me beyond belief. I know none of this would have been possible with out God, and so many great Christian friends praying.

I am happy to report that Lilly is doing well. She seems happy (most of the time). The tantrums have diminished mostly. We took her to the doctor yesterday, and she got a clean bill of health. We are scheduled to take her in for "blood work" (YIKES) soon. I doubt that will go well, but its one of those things as a parent that you have to do, but dread.

We are so blessed to have this sweet girl in our family. I can not imagine life without her, and it scares me beyond belief to think we could have missed out on being her parents. She is such a precious little thing. I am amazed by how well she fits into our family.

We have been taking Lilly out more, and she seems to be getting better with it. Hopefully (fingers crossed) we can take her to church on Sunday. I know everyone really wants to see her, and we are wanting to see them too!

We can not began to thank everyone who has helped us emotionally, financially, and spiritually. You will never truly know the magnitude of how grateful we are. Thank you God for this beautiful gift you have entrusted to us!

PS: Yes, she fixes her own hair. : )

Nana!

2009-06-09T10:44:00.000-07:00

Today I am going to a retirement party for my Mom. After 30 years of teaching 6th grade, she is finally retiring! What a huge accomplishment. There are so many children's lives that she has touched in those years. Many people have told me over the years what a good teacher she is, and how they have appreciated her dedication. I can honestly say that she has been an inspiration to me as well! She has been so dedicated to children and teaching. So the picture I posted today is my Mom and Lilly. On to being a full time Nana now! I love you Mom!

Update!

2009-06-03T05:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the delay in updating. I have misplaced my camera cord some how. Or maybe a certain 5 year old camera addict took it. : ) We are trying to adjust. In most areas Lilly is doing better than I ever thought she would. In other areas, we need work. It will all take time. Its only been a little over a week since we have returned home, so I think everything is going okay. We have had a few outings and we are trying to gradually work our way up to being out and about more. She is afraid of the car, so we are trying to take it slow. In someways we have regressed since returning home, and in some ways we have progressed. She is back to sleeping with us. She was crying so hard at night and there is less of that now that we moved her back into our room. She gets very upset when Lauren or Baba leave the house. In so many ways its like having a baby, since we can't communicate sometimes. I think once she is able to communicate there will be less tantrums.

Lilly loves so many things about living in her new home. She is crazy about her sister, and brother. She adores our dog Macy, and loves her wagon (compliments of Aunt Lynn), visitors, her DVD player, NOGGIN, crayons (they do not sell them in China), cell phones, her Barbie bike, new clothes, American food, ketchup, and all her new toys!

Overall we are doing fine. Its been harder in someways than we had anticipated, and much more rewarding that we have ever dreamed! We appreciate your prayers as we try to blend her personality and ours together to become a family. Now where is that camera cord!

There is no place like home!

2009-05-22T11:22:00.000-07:00

Thankfully, we arrived home late last night, after a 4 hour hold up in Tokyo. We are still tired, but so so happy to be at home. Getting in our own bed last night, was as nice as winning the lottery! Thank you all for your prayers.

Miss Lilly is loving her new house. She has been exploring all over the place! There is one picture of her right before we left China, and one of her playing in her room today! Everything is great so far!

Last few days in Guangzhou.

2009-05-19T16:01:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! we have enjoyed our last few days in Guangzhou. Today we did some shopping and took Lilly to the pool. She did not want to get in but had a fun time trying on her bathing suit and taking pictures. She also brought me two rubber bands and a brush today. That translated into " I want piggy tails". She doesn't have much hair so I tried my best and she was thrilled! I can not express how ready we are to come home. We miss Lauren and Landon, our house, our bed, our pets, everything and everyone. Please everyone pray for us on the flight home. We have no idea how Lilly will do. She is not fond of seat belts, I tell you that! I can't wait for you all to meet her. She is so sweet and good.. You are all going to love her!

Arrival in Ghangzhou

2009-05-17T11:38:00.000-07:00

HI all! We arrived in Ghangzhou on Saturday. We love it here! It is close to paradise. It actually is more like a resort and actually feels like we are on a vacation. The hotel is called the White Swan, and it caters to adoptive families. There are two pools, and a playroom with toys for the adoptive families. The hotel is on an island. Our room overlooks the lake. BEAUTIFUL!
Lilly is doing better everyday. I can't even describe to you how sweet she is. She is quiet and shy, but also talkative and active. She draws beautiful pictures, and she is super smart. She listens well, and has a funny sense of humor. We are blessed beyond measure to be the parents of this angel!
Lauren is updating the blog for me. For some reason there is a block on the blogger site. So I might not be updating as much as usual.
We are having fun! Home soon!

The Park?

2009-05-15T00:41:00.000-07:00

Well today we went in search of the "park" we were told about. I guess in China a park is not the same as in America. We were let out at the "park". All we saw were flowers and a walkway. No slide, no swing, no sand, just flowers...FUN! I guess we will wait till we get home to go to the real park and have some fun. So we walked around awhile. It was 100 million degrees! We did go to Starbucks. It was good. Yin enjoyed Oreos, and we enjoyed coffee. Then just to waste time we took a golf cart ride around the lake that we toured yesterday. After that we had lunch at a Pizza Hut. Then we saw a Toys R Us. It was so fun to watch Yin's face light up when she saw all the toys. The Toys R Us here, is small. Very small. Wait till she gets home!

All is well and good! We fly from here to Guangzhou tomorrow at 11:00, so we will be there around 2. Hopefully it will be more fun than this place!

New clothes!

2009-05-14T17:41:00.001-07:00

WE CHANGED CLOTHES!

Thank God! I have never been so excited in my life! I know that is stupid, but it means to me we have conquered a major milestone. It's not just about the stinky clothes, it's about her trusting us enough to allow us to change her. It's also about leaving a small part of her past behind. She did not necessarily want to change, but she did not cry either. So all is well! Thank God for Baba! He changed her, I was too scared to upset her. She will do about anything for Baba.

Also the picture above is her blowing bubbles out the window. She loves it! When she saw me taking the picture, she said "CHEESE" : ) We are heading to the park soon! Thanks for all the prayers. Keep praying because I am sure there will be more issues ahead.

Here and there.

2009-05-14T02:12:00.001-07:00

e
r

This afternoon we went to Haagan Daz for Ice cream. It's so funny to watch her try new things. She loved it of course. : ) Baba told her he does not share his ice cream with many girls. Oh and we shed one shirt...yah! She had on two, so we got rid of the pink one. Maybe a little each day? She also liked getting her picture made with Ronald McDonald. I tried a Big Mac today and it tasted the same.

The picture of the large building is our hotel. The round part at the top is a revolving resturant. The picture of Starbucks is for my dear friend, Janelle, so she knows if she ever gets brave and brings her son, Camden, to China she can still have her coffee. : )

Tomorrow is a free day. We might get brave and take her to the park if it is not 100 degrees. Later!

Touring the Tea Garden and West Lake

2009-05-13T22:36:00.000-07:00

Today we toured the Tea Garden. The tea plants are grown on the mountain side. The city we are in, Hangzhou is known for good tea. They showed us how they pick it, then prepare it. We got to try some. It was good. I bought some if any of you want to try it when we get home. She told us it has many health benefits. After that we walked around the West Lake. It is beautiful! There are wooden boats you can take out, and many people were flying kites. It was a beautiful day today. Overcast and cooler than usual so we enjoyed our walk around the lake.

Yin is fine. She acts very distant when we are in public. I am not sure why. When we are in the hotel room, she is talkative and active. We are ready to get to Guangzhou. We are going out exploring later, so I will post more then.

((HUGS))

Out and about..

2009-05-13T04:16:00.001-07:00

This afternoon was pretty boring so we went out and explored the city. We found a Papa Johns, which is a nice sit down restaurant in China. Yin had spaghetti, then rice, then cheese sticks. She liked it. That's where we ran into the squatty potty, which Yin mastered with no problem. : ) Then we went to the department store and Yin showed us three times a dress she wanted, so we got it. Of course, she will not put it on still....ugh!

Miss Yin is a Daddy's girl for sure. I thought the picture was cute of Matthew and her holding hands. Of course the picture of Sephora is for my sweetie Lauren. I miss my kids so bad! I can't wait to get home! Love you all!

Carri four and new shoes!

2009-05-12T21:20:00.000-07:00

We went to the CarriFour today, which is like Wal-Mart. I can not even begin to describe to you how many people were there. Anyway, we got tons of stuff for Yin. Movies, books, Barbies, clothes, shoes, and underwear. So far she has only put on the shoes. Thats progress right? : 0 They light up, which I am sure will be great for keeping her awake at night, since she won't take them off!

She likes playing in water in the bathtub, but she will not dare take her clothes off. She also loves Oreos. Somethings are universal. : )

Much love!

Happier Yin!

2009-05-12T04:00:00.000-07:00

Its official.....and the honeymoon is over.

2009-05-11T20:50:00.001-07:00

Well the morning started off perfect. Everything was great, no trouble. We went to the officials office again, and finished the paperwork. She is officially ours.The picture above is at the official ceremony. She was really being a ham for everyone. Even more of her personality was coming through. Then when we came back to the hotel the guide had her change clothes and she broke down.....for a long time. She completely rejected Matthew and I. The guide says this was normal, and she talked to her for awhile, but she still cried. Eventually we put the clothes back on her and she was fine. I know.....I maybe should not have, but I just thought she wasn't ready yet to let go of her past. I am sure I did the wrong thing but it was so sad to see her sad. She might be wearing those clothes to college...
Oh and the picture of the grass roof is for Paw Paw Jerry. Matthew says you might want to start a roofing/lawn business. : )

Much love!

A few more...

2009-05-11T02:18:00.001-07:00

She laughed and laughed blowing the bubbles today! Then she enjoyed some potato chips....the whole bag. The first picture is when she got the camera and took a picture of her baby. She loves hairbows and jewelry. And baby dolls and Barbies. Much love! So far she is doing better than I ever expected!

Here she is!

2009-05-10T22:54:00.000-07:00

Well I was all nerves this morning. By the time we got to the Civil Affairs office I was about to hurl. : ) The orphanage staff was almost 2 hours late bringing her there, which actually helped calm me down. Then she walked in. I was expecting the worst but I won her over quickly with Smarties. She was hungry. They had her dressed so pretty in the beautiful Chinese outfit. Everything she had on was brand new. She loved playing with all the things we got for her while Matthew and I did paper work. The orphanage staff told us she is advanced for her age (they may tell everyone that : ) and that she is a perfectionist, and she is independant. Who does that sound like? Then when it was time to go...she wasn't so sure. Then we took her to KFC and got our first smile when we gave her French Fries..the way to this girls heart is through her stomach. So far so good...no tears. Right now she is very carefully coloring a page in her coloring book. Thanks for all the prayers! So far so good.

Happy Mothers Day!

2009-05-10T01:12:00.000-07:00

Happy Mothers Day! I wish I was at home to celebrate with my Mom and my kids, but I am not. I hope we are never ever apart on Mothers Day again! I love you Mom Lauren and Landon. We arrived in Hangzhou today, and I can't believe how hot it is! WOW! Its like Florida.

The first picture is for Landon....its duck. Yummm....Just kidding I did not eat that! The second is for Wendy. I had to come all the way to China to confirm it but I found it in writing! Angelo is a saint! : )

I gotta get some sleep because tomorrow I become a Mom to three! XOXO!

Touring Beijing

2009-05-09T03:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, we learned so much about China today! More than I know about America I think. We really like it here. The people are so nice, and many of them where very interested in us! I can't upload too many pictures on blogger, so I tried to sum the day up with three. We toured the Forbidden City, and yeah it is big like a city. Then we had lunch and went to The Great Wall which I did not get very far up, but I took a lot of pictures. We also drove by the Birds Nest from the Olympics. Beijing is BIG! Now we are waiting on a Papa Johns Pizza...I hope its good! We are worn out from so much walking and tomorrow we get up at 5 for our flight to Hangzhou. Much love!

View from our hotel in Beijing

2009-05-08T02:39:00.001-07:00

We Made it!

2009-05-08T02:18:00.000-07:00

We are here! Finally! The flight from Charlotte to Washington was really small and we didn't like it too well. The flight from Washington to Beijing was LLLOOONNNGGG but they were really nice to us and everything was great on the plane. The food wasn't too good though. The cool thing was there were little personal TVs in front of you with headphones. You could listen to satalitte radio or watch one of 7 movies...or Hannah Montana. : ) There were storms in D.C. so we were delayed leaving there....then for some reason we had to keep circling in Beijin got land. Which made me sick feeling. Then the airport was blazing HOT, and there were a million lines. Anyway, all in all everything is okay. We are at our hotel now, and are exausted! Tomorrow we go to The Great Wall and The Forbiden City. I love you and miss you already!

2009-05-06T07:28:00.001-07:00

In less than 24 hours we will be on our way to get Lilly. We are are filled with anticipation, joy, stress, and a lot other emotions! : ) The lady at United just told us we may not be able to sit beside of each other on the plane...PLEASE pray this is not the case. I need to sit beside of my sweet hubby so we can share this experience together. I am already stressed enough! This will be my last post before we go, so CHINA here we come!

Where in the world is Lilly?

2009-05-03T13:55:00.000-07:00

I thought it would be helpful to post a map of where in China Lilly is currently.Lilly's orphanage is in Jinhua City in Zhejiang Province. A province is sort of like a state. We will fly into Beijing on Friday, and do some touring. On Saturday we fly to Hangzhou, the capital of her province. We will spend almost a week in her province before we fly to Guangzhou to finalize the adoption.

The count down is ON!

Prom and waiting to travel....

2009-05-02T15:56:00.000-07:00

Well tonight Lauren has prom. It was nice to get to spend time helping her prepare for her big night. I am so glad I did not miss it. I am sure she will have a great time!

5 days till we leave....WOW! I can barely believe it!

Adoption Benefit

2009-04-27T06:30:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend our church sponsored a benefit for our adoption. Of course I forgot my camera, : ( but i will give you the details. It was a Christian concert. Our daughter Lauren sang one of our favorite songs. Our music director and his daughter sang, as did our preacher, and my cousin Matthew. We are so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends. The money raised will go a long way to help support the adoption. It was more than I could have ever imagined! We thank all of you who helped and contributed. Your love for us and for God is unbelievable!

We also showed a video during the adoption benefit that we made (with the help of my cousin, Thank you Matthew!) . We wanted everyone to understand how many more children need help. The video was truly touching and I think everyone was moved.

For this week I will concentrate on trying to clean and organize the house. I am getting a little concerned about the swine flu epidemic. Hopefully it will not affect us.

Only 10 more days!

Happy Birthday Lilly Yin!

2009-04-20T03:06:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday Lilly Yin!

Today is Lillys 5th birthday. We sent her an outfit and a few toys. I am not sure if they will give them to her or not, but I am sure they will at least show them to her. Its not really fair if only one child gets things, so I understand that. I PROMISE next year we will have a big party! We are so ready to go get her! I promise sweetheart Momma and Babba are coming! We received this new picture yesterday from another adoptive parent. She looks scared again. Please pray that God comforts her during this time of transition. We feel so blessed to be given to opportunity to adopt. It has never been more apparent to us that we are doing what pleases God. PLEASE continue to pray for us as all!

17 more days!

Packing and Lillys room

2009-04-18T05:08:00.000-07:00

Hi All! This week I thought i would post a few pictures of Lillys room. We have been so busy, and little by little it is all getting done. There is still a lot to do. The picture of the suticase is all the packing I have done! Last night we worked on the video for the adoption benefit at our church. We are not good at speaking, but what we said came from our heart. Thank you all for your prayers and support! ((HUGS))

2009-04-12T13:14:00.001-07:00

till we leave for China! There is so much to do! We appreciate all your prayers and support.

You may be adopting from China if....

2009-03-19T14:05:00.001-07:00

~You know that I-600 & I-171 aren't highways....
~You've been expecting a baby for over 3 years....
~You understand that it's 2006 in some parts of the world....
~You've "paid for" 3 citizenships, but never brought anyone into the U.S....
~You know that waiting for China has nothing to do with Dillards or dishes..
~Your homestudy is followed by a number (i.e. #3 or #4)...
~You never know how many days next month will have...
~You know that babies come in batches...
~You've been fingerprinted four times, but never committed a crime...
~You automatically assume everyone who is expecting is having a girl...
~You own new clothing in 3 little sizes for all 4 seasons (because you don't know when or how big)...
~You look twice when you see a lady bug...
~You're more interested in what will happen in March 2006 than in March 2009...
~You know people who understand when you talk about 2 day months & 5 day months...
~Your due date hasn't changed by days, but by years...
~You know who the Rumor Queen is ... AND ... you don't know who she is...
~You know that forecast doesn't have anything to do with the weather...
~You've waited so long, they re-checked your fingerprints to see if they changed...
~Trying to understand why they're printing you again, you study your own fingerprints and wonder if fingerprints grow wrinkles...
~When you speak of "that time of month" you're talking about CCAA updates & referrals...
And finally...You might be adopting from China if you love someone you've never met with all your heart

2009-01-18T15:29:00.000-08:00

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18

2009-01-17T14:00:00.000-08:00

Prayers Needed!

We need all of our friends to really pray for Lilly Yin. As you can tell by the video, she is shy and seems to be a bit confused about the adoption and all of the attention she is getting. We need prayers specifically for God to prepare her heart for the adoption. We know it will be a tough transition for her to go through. We thank you for all of your support and prayers!

Lilly at SWI in Jinhua City, China

2009-01-16T13:40:00.000-08:00

Lilly at Jinhua SWI

2009-01-16T12:34:00.000-08:00

2009-01-15T13:03:00.000-08:00

One more new one. I received this one today from my friend Cynthia who is in China adopting her handsome son Nathan this week. My other friend Peggy took the ones I posted on Tuesday. She is in China adopting her little cutie Benjamin. I can not thank these two ladies enough! These pictures of Lilly are priceless! Of course Miss Lilly was more concerned with eating that chocolate that getting pictures for Mamma and Babba...That's my girl!

2009-01-13T12:58:00.000-08:00

We have new pictures of Lilly Yin! Another family was traveling to her orphanage to get their son, and took a care package to her for us. MY she has GROWN! We are so excited! Thank you so much to the Vedders for being sweet enough to take her the package! Please everyone, pray for Lilly. Pray that God will help her little heart prepare to be a part of our family and accept all of the changes getting ready to take place in her little life. We are so EXCITED!

New Pictures!

2009-01-13T12:53:00.000-08:00

2009-01-13T12:49:00.000-08:00

2009-01-06T17:47:00.000-08:00

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life. But those who make their journey home across time & miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God's very own hands.
--- Kristi Larson

2009-01-06T17:31:00.000-08:00

2009-01-02T14:36:00.000-08:00

Hi all! I just wanted to keep you updated on this crazy adoption journey we are on. Gods hand has been in his journey all along, although there has been many days that we doubted Gods plan. It has been the toughest two years of my life. I’ve tried to go on smiling, but many times I cried myself to sleep at night. I held most of these feeling back from everyone except Matthew. I can honestly say he has been very supportive, and for that I am truly thankful. Don’t get me wrong, Lauren and Landon complete my mothering role 100%, but I knew God had a plan for us. I knew I was meant to be someone else’s Mommy. I knew God had a brilliant plan, but patience has never been my virtue.

About a year ago, we decided to adopt a child from the waiting child list. The severity of the special needs of these children vary. Several months ago we reviewed the file of a little girl in China who had nystagmus, an eye condition. The doctors were unsure of how her condition would affect her daily life. Our pastor, Matt, also prayed specifically that we would know for sure if we were to adopt her. We didn’t know for sure, we were torn. I question whether I would ever know for sure. I was okay with it but Matthew was hesitant. I knew God would never divide us on decision to adopt, so we declined the referral. It broke my heart to tell the agency no.

Fast forward to Monday December 1. Matthew and I were talking about how short life is, and how we felt we were wasting time waiting for the adoption. We need her now! We prayed for God to send her and the money to get her, soon. We just can’t wait anymore. Wednesday while I was at work the adoption agency called and asked if I wanted to review the file of a little girl who is 4 with repaired cleft lip. I was amazed! Of course I said sure. We came home and reviewed the file, and decided she was the prettiest little girl in China! We called them to tell them yes, but they informed us that another agency had already had a family commit to her. We were devastated. Matthew and I shed tears that night. We just knew she was the one….just like our pastor had prayed for months earlier. Lauren in all her wisdom came in to my room and assured me that God wanted her to relay that we would get this little girl back. I told her she was sweet, but I seriously doubt the family would back out. We prayed that night that if she is ours, for God to bring her back to us.

Friday at 2:45 the agency called again. They said she is OURS! The other family decided not to adopt her, and we were next in line. We took her file to the pediatrician that our children see, and she thought she looked perfect! She also told us that if for some reason she requires more surgeries, a very sought after doctor for cleft lip is in Charlotte. What a prayer come true. I can barely believe I am typing this but….WE HAVE A DAUGHTER! I have never been more sure of anything more than the fact that I am suppose to be her Mama. We still have some money to find, but God will provide it.

We know that we will have many barriers to face. There will be a language barrier. She has been in an orphanage her whole life, attachment will be hard. The money barrier, THE TRIP! So many obstacles still to overcome. We know though that Gods hand is with us, and with her….we will get through although it might not be easy.

Okay, now for the details. Her Chinese name is Jin Yin. Her American name will be Lilly Yin Grace. We will call her Lilly Yin at first (so she can understand), then after awhile probably, just Lilly. She is 4, almost 5. She is in Social Welfare Institute of Jinhua City in Zhejiang Province. From what I know about the orphanage, it is small, and very loving. I am talking with several adoptive parents that have went there in the last few months to see if they saw Yin, or maybe even have photos of her. We feel very blessed that she is in this orphanage. It appears to be a good one.

Thank you all for your support and prayers for us during this journey. Please keep praying! For Lilly Yin, for us, for finances, and for a safe travel. I will keep you all posted on her, and our trip. Isn’t it amazing how fast God works! WE ARE GOING TO CHINA!